Russell David Harper

Do fundamentalists know something we don't know? Hard to say. Fortunately, such questions usually resolve themselves upon death. In the meantime, it would be nice if the more zealous among us would calm down and give more casual believers and nonbelievers the benefit of the doubt.

This sentence will take you to books or ideas (silly ones). If you're bored, this sentence will take you to the New York Times.

Misc.

Another thing about the author is that he's old-fashioned. He doesn't own an iPod (though he recently bought a Sony MP3 player, that device having finally come of age). He lives in a very small house. Someday he'd like to live in a very large house, but he may never get the chance. Still, he'd like a separate library and music room. If he ever becomes elderly, he would like to be waited on and to have a club to go to in the evenings. He regrets overpopulation but realizes that people didn't appreciate what they were doing at the time. He also hopes that the planet isn't really heating up. But no matter, as long as there's time to sleep, life is okay.

Feedback

Here you will find excerpts from letters written to me by people I made up.

2008: Work in Progress

Dear RDH—You don't have any new links to any sexy images for 2008. Why not?—Anon.

Dear Anon.—I wish someone would write to me about something I've written. In fact, I can't really get very motivated to write anything else until that happens. But in the meantime, I suppose it wouldn't be all that hard to give in to your request. I am at my keyboard, after all. It's so easy to give you a link to a sexy picture that I don't even have to try all that hard. Consider this sentence to be the one you've been waiting for. I hope you're happy for now.—RDH

2007: The Silliest Year Yet

"Aren't you being just a tad sexist here?" Yes. But I think that most people—lesbians included—would admit that women are more fun to look at than men.

Dear RDH—I can't seem to get that link to the cheerleaders to work (in the American football article). I'm very frustrated. Can you e-mail the photo to me, or at least describe it to me? Thanks.—Anon.

Dear Anon.—I shouldn't really e-mail that copyrighted image to you. I can, however, attempt parenthetically to describe the image you're supposed to see (it's of a line-up of Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders, presumably during the national anthem, their right hands over their hearts and their bare midriffs at attention) and offer a consolation prize. I hope that works for you.—RDH

Dear RDH—Thank you for including that link to the Brazilian supermodel in more than one place [e.g., here, here, here, and here]. Would you mind doing that again if you get a chance to post this letter? Thanks.—Anon.

Dear RDH—Thank you for including that link to Steffi Graf in your recent article ("Thirty-Year Randomized Trial Finds Clear Benefits to Hard, Regular Exercise," May 7, 2007). I almost hate to admit that I like that photo, but I'm a sucker for strong thighs. Would you mind linking to it again here, so that my joy over seeing that you've posted my letter might be redoubled by the sight of the mighty Fräulein in action? Thanks.—Anon.

Dear RDH—Thank you for including that link to the stripper in your recent article ("Most Jobs Have Become Undesirable, Notwithstanding Even the Most Impassioned Claims to the Contrary," May 16, 2007). I almost hate to admit that I like that photo, but I'm a sucker for strong thighs (not to mention bondage).—Anon.

Dear RDH—Thank you for including that link to the Russian tennis champion in your recent article. Would you be so kind as to include another, equally nice photograph in the form of a link to the last seven words of this sentence? It doesn't even have to be a tennis champion. Surprise me. Thanks.—Anon.

Dear RDH—Do you plan to include links to any other nice-looking human beings in future essays? I would hate to think that this was just a phase. Thanks.—Anon.

Dear Anon.—I can't really promise you anything one way or another. This site's really more about words than images. You should consider giving your obsession a broader outlet. Why don't you try this one (be sure to turn off "SafeSearch").—RDH